Rick Beneteau Articles
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The Ice Cream 'Comb' Story

She was three. Just released from a far-away hospital after life
threatening brain surgery, ready to take on the world again. I
was happy just to have her back. My little "Mr. Clean" (shaven
head and hoop earrings) and me driving along to our local mall.
Hanging out with dad day.

I recall her words as if it were yesterday.

"Daddy, can I get a treat?"

As she was understandably spoiled (if there is such a thing), I
replied "ok honey, but just ONE".

Her eyes beamed like the Fourth of July in anticipation of that
something only she knew at the time.

We drove around to the new end of the mall on the normal seek-
and-destroy mission of capturing a parking place. After all, it
was Saturday. We landed a fair distance from our destination, and
began walking hand-in-hand towards the entrance, her pace gaining
momentum with each tiny step. A few feet from the doors she broke
loose and ran hands-first into the thick wall of glass, trying
with everything she had to swing the big doors open. No luck.
With a little assistance, she 'did it' and tried the very same
thing at the second set of doors.

It was then that I asked her what she wanted for her treat.
Without hesitation, she matter-of-factly said "an ice-cream comb
from the ice-cream store". Ok, the goal was set and we were in
the mall!

But hold on! What was this? At the end of what was just an
ordinary looking lane of retail chain outlets she spied something
new- this huge fountain, water shooting who knows how high into
the air. The new goal line!

She ran, and I walked (don't ya just hate it when parents let
their kids run wild in public?), and we arrived at the spectacle
at about the same time. The turbulent noise was almost deafening.

"Daddy, can I make a wish, can I make a wish?" she screamed as
she jumped with the kind of pure joy we’ve all long since
forgotten.

"Sure honey, but that will be YOUR TREAT you know" I explained
(gotta be firm with these kind of things).

She agreed.

I fumbled around in my pocket and pulled out what I think was a
dime (big spender) and placed it in her outstretched hand. She
cupped it tightly, closed her eyes and grimaced, formulating her
wish. I stared at that little scrunched-up face and said my own
kind of prayer of thanks, feeling so blessed to still have this
ball of energy in my life. And then like a shooting star, the
coin was flung into the foaming water and with it, her wish.

We happily continued our stroll into the familiar section of the
mall. An eerie silence ensued, which I was admittedly
uncomfortable with. I couldn't resist breaking it.

"Aren't you gonna tell daddy what you wished for?"

She retorted "I wished I could get an ice-cream comb".

I just about lost it right then and there. Couldn’t imagine what
the shoppers thought of this lunatic laughing uncontrollably in
the middle of a crowded mall. And needless to say, she got her
wish, and two treats.

Little did I know then that my beautiful little girl would soon
embark on a long road of seizures, surgeries, special schools,
medications and end up partially paralyzed on her right side. She
never learned to ride a bike.

Today, she is almost seventeen. She cannot use her right hand and
walks with a noticeable limp. But she has overcome what life
seemed to so cruelly inflict on her. She was teased a lot and
always struggled in school, both socially and academically. But
each year she showed improvement. She is planning a career in
early childhood education. With one year still remaining in high
school, her and I, one night not too long ago mapped out all the
courses she would need to take in community college. It was her
idea. She volunteers weekly at a local hospital, on the
children's floor. She baby-sits a neighbors children five days a
week. On her own this year, she stood outside in line for four
hours on a cold Canadian January afternoon and enrolled herself,
with her own babysitting money, into two courses she felt she
would need for college.

You see, to her, failure was never an option.

It would almost be redundant for me to explain why I wanted to
share this story with you. She IS my daughter and I carry all
those fatherly biases with me wherever I go. But these aside, she
is a very exceptional person and one that I admire and have
learned a lot from.

It is my sincerest hope that her story will have even a momentary
positive impact on you as a human being, a parent, a spouse or
even, an entrepreneur.

I’d like to leave you with a closing thought. As human beings, we
deserve all the treats, and the multitude of good things that
life can offer us. We all have wishes and dreams, AND the power
to make them reality. Just simple truths of the universe.

We can wish for, and get, that ice-cream comb.

© Rick Beneteau

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org
__________________________________________________

The Tiniest of Gladiators

I stared into those biggest of navy blue eyes and felt the power of
his fighting spirit, despite the pain and week long raging fever. Most
of the time my heart was in my throat and my mind was awash with
counter-productive thoughts like, "why him?" and "this isn't fair!"

This wasn't helping him to be sure (my daughter was much stronger
than I), but in spite, he not only survived the arduous ordeal, but he
emerged the victor!

I am talking about my infant grandson, Corbin Nicolas, clobbered
with a serious infection of the lymph glands. This tiniest of
gladiators toughed out what few adults could have and not only
amazed his wonderful pediatrician and hospital staff, but I feel
profoundly and positively impacted them.

My precious bundle of joy is not a superhuman little being. He is
simply a child, like any other, who knows no different than to fight
the fight and win!

Now I ask you: what if YOU knew NO other way than to just go out
and win? Well, that's how the true achievers of this world think 24
hours a day, 7 days a week. Further, it is the lack of this thinking
process that is most often the sole difference between success and
failure.

When failure is perceived as a possibility, it will most likely become
your reality. However, when we envision success as the only
option, just as natural as gravity itself, success is achieved. Not
without sacrifice. Not without setbacks. And certainly not without
pain. But, it IS achieved!

Personally, and most probably, I'm at least an entry-level
workaholic with enough Virgo perfectionism to allow my thinking to
stray off course at times. My stress level rises, my thinking
patterns disintegrate and I become unfocused. Suddenly, my
forward motion is slowed, halted or even reversed.

I was in such a tailspin when the call came from my daughter that
something was terribly wrong with Corbin. Of course, business just
didn't matter at that point, but it was through this trauma and "in"
someone who has been on this planet more than 90 times less
than me, and who knew no different than to "just do it!", that I found
my way again.

Corbin was released from the hospital after his ten-day fight, better
than new and all the stronger in both body and soul.

Look, I'm not a preachy person (most of the time anyway), but
every now and then we all need a wake up call to remind us of the
very simple laws that propel our universe. And I received mine so
close to home and in a circumstance that had absolutely nothing
to do with the entrepreneurial spirit, but everything to do with the
human spirit.

I learned my lesson through the eyes of a child.

© Rick Beneteau

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  

__________________________________________________


The Ungiven Gift


He was pencil thin and walked with a limp. A thirteen year-old boy
with huge yearning eyes who was always an unlucky patient on the
children's floor of the hospital where my youngest daughter was all
too often incarcerated.

Curtis had sickle cell anemia, an incurable, painful and terminal
disease that plagues young people of African descent.

I would meander into his room to spend a little time with the
rebellious loner and would often end up refereeing a screaming
match between him and one of the nurses. The street-wise Curtis
would usually win.

Over the course of a few years (the hospital was always my home-
away-from-home), I eventually learned of the horror of his
upbringing, the sad reality of his current life and the apparent
dimness of his future.

My experience as a volunteer in the Big Brother-like program in our
local Children's Aid Society was that a small dose of interest and
some one-on-one attention could go a long way to helping a kid
who was in trouble with the law, failing school and in Curtis' case, a
social outcast.

So, when my time was over with the last boy I was involved with, I
asked the CAS if I could hook up with Curtis, albeit 'unofficially' this
time. Problem was, I was in the process of selling my drycleaning
business while building a music production studio (for my next
career) and my time was too much at a premium to commit to a
structured arrangement. They agreed, and I began to hang with
Curtis.

I learned in very short order that among his survival skills was the
tendency to cajole, cleverly manipulate and even outright steal.
Although always kind, I had to have a second set of eyes when in
his presence and was forced at times to be, well, curt with Curt.

Also during this time, I was involved in a major lawsuit after having
had a song of mine "lifted" by a one-time friend and co-writing
partner in Los Angeles, who had become a 'hot' producer of major
recording acts. On one of his multi-million selling records was the
core of a song of mine he had heard and we discussed in my
presence during one of my frequent music trips in the 1980's. I was
a little more than hurt and felt I deserved not only the royalties for
my creation, but also the credibility that went along with a "cut" of
that magnitude by a name recording artist.

I retained a highly regarded entertainment attorney in Detroit (he
represented many of the athletes on the professional sports teams
in Detroit as well as one of the all time greatest boxers and even
some famous civil rights icons) who just happened to also be a
truly wonderful and giving human being.

It was in a meeting with this man that I casually mentioned Curtis
and my desire to do something very special for him. See, in my
heart, I had a feeling Curtis would not live for too many more years.
Sickle cell sufferers often died in their early twenties, or even
before, a decade ago. I wasn't expecting anything from my lawyer
in this regard, but the next day the phone rang and I was instructed
to have Curtis "dressed up" and at the Palace of Auburn Hills at a
specific gate number one hour prior to a Detroit Pistons game later
that week.

He was a huge basketball fan. His hero of heroes was Isaiah
Thomas, captain of the Motor City NBA Champs the prior two
years. But I didn't let on to Curtis where we were going that night.
Just that we were hanging out. I just asked his foster mother (and I
use the term “mother” very lightly) to have him dressed nicely with
his birth certificate in hand by a certain time.

Curtis was on time, eagerly waiting on his rickety porch when I
pulled up. But to my utter dismay, he looked as disheveled as he
always did in his overbaggy, tattered clothes. And of course, good
ol' foster mom couldn't find his birth certificate. Now, can you
imagine the fancy dancin' I had to do at U.S. Customs having this
'gang looking' teenager with no identification trying to cross the
border in my new BMW? Well, fate and some silver tongued talkin'
prevailed and we were soon racing up I-75 to The Game.

I tried to make idle conversation with the excited but slouching
teenager. All Curtis could do was hound me. "Is it a ballgame? Is it
a concert?" "Rick, where are we going?" I love to tease. Finally, he
glimpsed the landmark dome of the arena from the freeway and
knew he was going to get to see his favorite team play.

We found the specified gate, parked and walked to the entrance.
Walking with Curtis was always a little frustrating for me (he would
do the 'slow, cool stroll' and I am a brisk walker) but this time I
knew there was something special awaiting that we should almost
race to.

We were met by a well-dressed, executive-looking middle-aged
man, who just happened to be the Vice-President of Public
Relations for the Detroit Pistons. Talk about first class! He escorted
Curtis not to his seat, but directly to the Pistons bench, where
Curtis' eyes grew almost as big as the basketballs the giant
athletes had just started tossing around in their pre-game warm-up.

I was led to our primest of seats directly behind the bench. A
waitress visited only seconds after that, taking my order for
refreshments. Everything was "on the house". I saw one of the
assistant coaches introduce himself to Curtis, and next thing I
know, well, guess who's center court tossing the ball around with
his hero, Isaiah? Soon, he was running the court and shooting
hoops with Bill Laimbeer, Dennis Rodman, Joe Dumars and the
rest of the elite players!

At this point, I couldn't even imagine the exhilaration that this young
man who life never seemed to smile upon was experiencing at this
very moment! I mean, how could anyone's wildest imagination even
envision this ravaged spirit and body trying to "deek the Bad Boys
of basketball?" I just sat quietly in utter amazement, misty eyed
and SO grateful to my legal friend and the 'human' management of
this professional sports team who arranged all of this for one
person. A Canadian kid who was close to my heart

When the warm-up was done, Curtis climbed up with me. The first
half of the game was great. The Pistons were pounding their
opponents. A few of the players even glanced back and motioned at
their new teammate! By the time the half-time buzzer sounded I
was certain Curtis' dream day was complete.

But hold on, this was only half time! The same assistant coach who
invited Curtis onto the hardwood floor pre-game, called for him to
hang with the team in the sanctuary of the dressing room during
their much-needed break. Give ME a break!

I'll never forget what I think was the widest smile I have ever seen as
the team emerged onto the floor afterwards and my little guy 'cool
strolling' as proudly as I've ever seen anyone. And much quicker
than I ever recalled. What a night!!

The ride home was quiet. Opposite of the ride there. Curtis slept
most of long way home. I could only imagine his dreams. Canada
Customs was kind and allowed him to sleep through their few brief
questions for me. It was sad to see him sleepily stagger up the
sidewalk to his stark reality, after having just left a world where I'd
bet no one would believe he had been.

Somehow I thought I would receive a phonecall from Curtis the next
day. But it never came. Two days later I had a very good reason to
call him. My attorney and the team had arranged to have every
player on the NBA Champion Detroit Pistons sign the game ball
from that night, and Federal Express it to my home address, to give
to Curtis. An autographed yearbook was included too.

I couldn't wait to tell him. I mean, I was flabbergasted at this
unexpected and over-the-top gesture! I recall excitedly dialing his
number and the deflation after hearing that "Curtis took off to
Toronto yesterday." She went on to explain that she didn't know
where he was or how to contact him. And neither did the Children's
Aid Society.

Little did I know that evening would be the last time I would ever see
Curtis. My instincts tell me that he is not with us anymore. But if
he is, he has one great gift still waiting for him - The Ungiven Gift.

© Rick Beneteau

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org   
 

_________________________________________________

The Muffed Dance

Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up to her older
sister, the dancer, in a big way. Sara was 4 years older and was
excelling in ballet, tap and jazz.

So we enrolled Teri in the same dance school and she really
seemed to enjoy the lessons and her new friends. She was now, of
course, a dancer, like her sister. And Teri very much looked forward
to the climax of her first dance season, the year-end dance recital
this school put on.

If you’ve ever been a dance parent, you of course realize that the
obligation is quite large. Aside from the weekly lessons, scheduled
on different days in our case, there is the extra investment of time
and money preparing for the ‘big event’ - extra lessons and
rehearsals, fittings for the completely different head-to-toe costume
required for each dance number and a parents meeting for each
dancer to make sure everyone was on the same stage come recital
night. Baseball parents have it easy!

As fate would have it, Teri had surgery to lengthen her heel cord a
few weeks prior to her dancing debut. But that didn’t stop her from
lugging around the heavy cast trying keep up with the other
performers. That’s my girl!

The big night arrives and in a flurry of hurried activity, we deliver our
girls backstage complete with special hair do’s and a full coat of
stage war paint and we take our seats in the auditorium.

The place darkens, the curtain rises and the show begins with the
performances of some of the advanced students. They beam with
pride showing off the stuff they had worked so hard on all year long.
Two of Sara’s dances were slated and as always, she didn’t miss a
step.

Then, to the “ahhhh, aren’t they cute”’s of the packed house, the
curtain lifts to reveal Teri’s class of little tykes all in a line looking
nervously around under the bright lights. At one end of the line was
Teri, with her bulky cast in plain view and her hands tucked in the
white muff in the starting position for “the Muff Dance.”

The moment arrived and music started. Teri didn’t. She just stood
there, still as a statue, while her friends slipped into their well-
rehearsed routine.

Was she nervous? Did she forget her steps? Did her foot hurt?

Then, as if on cue, she gracefully took her left hand out of the muff
and raised it to her face, inserted her index finger into her nostril
and with the precision of a Texas oil driller, began a full-scale
exploration of the orifice that seemingly wouldn’t conclude until she
hit paydirt! That’s my girl!

Needless to say, the place erupted into hysterical laughter that
overrode the loud music. I began to slither down in my seat trying
not to be among the majority who were splitting a gut at the
spectacle and add to the embarrassment that Teri must have been
beginning to feel.

Suddenly, as if it finally registered that the non-relenting roar of
laughter was directed at her, she ran off the stage. I was already
hustling out of the theatre to the backstage area in anticipation of
having to do some creative parenting and intense consolation.

With a lot of tear drying and a little coaxing I managed to convince
my little dancer to “get on with the show”, where she performed the
rest of her numbers, without using her fingers.

The next year, she played tee ball.

© Rick Beneteau

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  
 

__________________________________________________

The Power of Small

Routinely, I rise out of bed before the birds, and watch the sunlight
flood my office every morning. See, I love this time of day! But what
I don't love is being rudely rousted out of a deep sleep before my
normal rise and shine time, and every day for the past few months I
have been.

I sleep with the windows open, and at around 4:00 each and every
morning, rain or shine, there has been this very obnoxious bird
"somewhere" close by screeching his mating call at what seems
like 130 decibels! Many times I've wearily peered out to be able to
witness first hand what sounded like a pterodactyl-size creature on
some kind of steroids. But never would this clever 'lil creature reveal
himself!

I appreciate nature as much as the next person, but this large
sound at this wee hour of the morning is not music to my ears! In
one agitated state my fine-feathered foe put me in, I thought about
locating a 'sportsman' in the neighborhood to take him out, but that
was only wishful fantasizing. Besides, I don't believe in 'the sport of
hunting.'

By now though, I've gotten pretty used to my tree dwelling alarm
and looking on the positive side of this situation, could even thank
him for the extra hour of work I am able to put in every day.

One day last week, I was pounding away on my laptop on the front
porch swing, when lo and behold - THAT PIERCING SOUND
AGAIN! And it was NEAR! Imagine my surprise when after peeking
out from under the canopy, perched on the telephone line above
was this teeny weenie finch, smaller than my prized canary,
warbling away what was really a beautiful anthem, at least heard at
this normal hour of the day.

Oh my, the power of small!

Now, may I ask: How many times in your life have you thought that
you were "too small" to make a difference? How many times has
this thought actually stopped you from doing something you knew
in your heart was worthwhile? Perhaps something like changing
careers, starting a new business, creating your own product or even
buying that dream home. Like me, I bet plenty of times!

Think about this. Every great achievement in this world had its roots
as a single thought in the mind of a single human being. There's no
exception - the greatest inventions, the biggest corporations and
the tallest skyscrapers were all borne of the single idea of one
individual!

The difference between most of us and the Henry Ford's and Bill
Gates of this world is the total self-belief and conviction in their
ideas to just "build it!" No matter the size, no matter the scope, no
matter the naysayers around them. And, knowing full well that the
road to achieving their goal was going to be paved with major
setbacks and failures.

Here's one of my favorite quotes about achievers:

"There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are
some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into
the other."
Douglas Everett

You've heard many of the stories about the above 'icons' and people
like Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison and Gandhi. Their journeys
were filled with great adversity, devastating setbacks and yes,
heartbreaking failures. But still, because of the sheer level of belief
in themselves and what they set out to achieve, they were able to
leave a legacy that today affects every one of us, every hour of
every day.

There are millions everyday people who will never become
household names who have made magnificent differences in their
lives and the lives of those around them.

Take for instance, the single mother who was reluctantly forced
onto the welfare rolls due to a deadbeat dad, and pounds the
pavement until she lands a job, determined to excel, and works her
way up the ladder until she ends up with a wonderful career to the
benefit of herself and her family.

Or, the foreign medical student whose family sacrificed their entire
lives in order to send their child to a 'free country' to get an
education, who, through sheer determination graduates at the top of
his class but decides not to chase the almighty big bucks that
await him in the 'land of promise' and instead returns to his
homeland so that he may help alleviate the dire suffering of the
people in his native land.

Or, how about the countless entrepreneurs who have taken a single
idea and no matter what obstacles they faced, and the many
sacrifices they had to make, created successful businesses with
products that impacted thousands or even millions of people?

I am privileged to know so many individuals who have accomplished
great things only because of the great belief they had in themselves
and their ideas. As such, I firmly believe that every human being, no
matter where they believe they are at on this roller coaster ride we
call life, CAN accomplish great things.

As strange as this may seem at this time, I can tell you with all the
sincerity I possess, that this great universe of ours awaits your
simple and sincere decision, so that it can begin to fill you with all
the power you need to make your dream a reality. It's a matter of
truly making that decision and then opening yourself up to receiving
that invisible assistance.

"The Creator has not given you a longing to do that which you have
no ability to do."
Orison Swett Marden

Now back to my miniscule, winged friend. On cue, and still prior to
daylight, he shakes me out of my peaceful slumber. He knows
nothing else. No other way. He just cranks it up at enormous
volume at nature's call, oblivious to the fact he is impacting me on a
major scale by doing the only thing he was designed to do. How we
all should be, don't you agree?

The Power of Small!

© Rick Beneteau
 

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  

__________________________________________________

The Bulging Right Pocket


It was one of the worst periods of time in my life.

Recently separated, I had just lost custody of my 2 daughters and
was forced to vacate my newly-renovated home (with 3 days notice)
that contained the well-equipped recording studio I had spent 2
years building prior to selling my drycleaning business (in order to
build a long-desired music production company).

Divorce - Canadian style!

Two years before, I discovered that a *friend*, a music contact I had
worked with and even spent time with in Hollywood a decade prior,
had stolen a song that I and my music partner had written and
presented to this budding writer/producer at that time. He had since
become a major player in the music business and had lifted *so
much* our song, placing it on the album of a multi-million selling
female artist.

After much consideration and consultation with a prominent Detroit
attorney, we decided to proceed with a lawsuit against this record
producer. And, as these matters usually go, we had to retain high
profile legal representation in California and also sue the 'innocents',
in this case the recording artist, record company and publishing
company, with the hope (at least mine) that they would bring
pressure upon the sole guilty party to get a just settlement.

And of course, I was counter sued for over a million dollars and had
to begin dealing with that ugly business.

Now, living with friends during this confusing, dark period of time, a
call came from my California attorney. I was forced to confront the
inevitable - a trip to Los Angeles for a legal hearing.

I had neither the heart nor the will to follow through with this.
Neither did I have the money for the flight and hotel as all my
assets had been frozen by the divorce court at the time.

I recall, as if it were yesterday, how Doug somehow sensed my
emotional turmoil and just matter-of-factly told me to pick up the
airline ticket at the terminal and then invited me to stay with his
family. This is where the real story begins.

Immediately after meeting Doug in person for the first time at the
airport on a Friday afternoon, I felt so unusually comfortable. The
hearing was on Monday but he had no intention of discussing the
case at all on the drive to his home. Instead we talked about our
families, friends, careers and hobbies. His was mountain climbing
and he has since scaled the tallest peaks on the continent!

He told me about how much his wife and daughter were looking
forward to having me stay with them. And, that he had planned get-
togethers with some of his rather famous friends. See, we had built
a rather unique friendship over the phone during the time building up
to this hearing, but I had no idea Doug would be going all out during
our short visit.

I arrived at his beautiful home in the Hollywood Hills to the warm
hugs of Doug's wonderful wife and cuter-than-cute little daughter. If
you've ever visited someone's home for the very first time and
immediately, and truly felt right at home, well, this was one of those
rare instances. Mi casa es su casa.

All of us had a great amount of fun getting to know one another
and, as promised, we had most enjoyable Friday and Saturday
evenings with Doug’s crazy but wonderful friends in the
entertainment world. After all, I was in my element

Sunday night was sleepless however. Although I was very confident
in Doug and his abilities (I'd love to be able to tell you who he has
represented in the past but the terms of the ultimate settlement in
this action prohibit me from sharing any details that would identify
any of the parties involved), I was still very concerned about being in
court with 4 sets of high-powered attorneys against, well, just me
and Doug. Rumor had it that the defendant's father, a very high
profile attorney from a major U.S. city, was also flying in for the
showdown.

On the drive to downtown LA on Monday morning, we finally began
discussing the case. Doug had put my mind at as much ease as
possible as we headed toward the magnificent skyline. If you've
ever seen the skyscrapers of Los Angeles in person or in movies,
you will surely remember the tall, white, rounded building in the
center. Doug's office was near the top floor.

He didn't park anywhere near it however. He pulled into this pay-
per-day lot in a less than fashionable neighborhood many blocks
away. Strange. Homeless people populated the streets. We started
the long trek towards the ivory tower but suddenly Doug stopped to
speak to an old man with a wind-weathered face, crouched against
a building clutching a "mickey" of cheap “Thunderbird" wine in his
dirty, gnarled hands. He simply asked this poor soul how he was
doing and if he had anything to eat recently. The reply was
incoherent and Doug just smiled and handed him 2 one-dollar bills.
We walked onward.

As he repeated this gesture along our long route, even walking half
a block out of our way to greet and hand yet another homeless
person a couple of bucks, I noticed Doug's right pocket was bulging
with what could only be one dollar bills. I didn't ask him about this
ritual, preferring to know that Doug just did this 2-buck thing every
day.

Finally, and as if in another world altogether, we entered this
stunning building and were soon going over the infinite details of our
case in his impressive office.

Suffice it to say although this case was settled somewhat
satisfactorily in the end run, this initial hearing did not go well. After
the hearing and while Doug was in chambers with the judge and
principle lawyers trying to negotiate a fair settlement, the other
participants/all on the other side (some came with an entourage)
gathered into the hallway. I made my way to each one of them and
offered my apologies for having to have them and their clients
involved. They all accepted. Even the defendant's high-powered
father was understanding and exceptionally cordial. We started
chatting about sports and he even made some off-the-record
remarks about his arrogant offspring.

While this conversation was taking place, a loud voice angrily
bounced off the marble walls, "So dad, you switching sides now? "
My former musical friend was now in the hall, obviously witnessing
his dad and myself acting civilly. I walked over and with a simple
gesture of peace, offered my hand to him. It was readily and
violently slapped away.

I am what I feel most would say, a peace-loving, passive human
being. But having the physical sting of an assault like this brought
the instinctual animal out in me, to defend, and I began to react
accordingly . . . good thing for Dad who rushed to the scene and
ushered his son back into the courtroom.

Doug soon emerged with the bad news that anything approximating
a fair settlement was not going to happen this day. That
disappointed me,
but didn't seem to surprise my esteemed lawyer, as he assured me
that we would need to apply more pressure in due course. Not a
nice business.

After our *tough day at the office*, Doug was soon digging back into
his right pocket on our way back to the parking lot, even placing
currency into the hands of some of the same indigents. I then came
to the conclusion that they weren't all strangers.

We pulled in to get some gas just around the corner from the
parking lot and were standing at the pumps when a disheveled
fellow approached us. This time it was me who engaged him in
conversation. He was a Vietnam veteran with a severe chip on his
shoulder and he seemed to be glad just to have someone to listen.

As if by magic, penniless me turned to Doug, who, with a big smile
had his arm outstretched with 2 dollar bills just dangling for me to
take.

My thoughts immediately ran back to several months before when I
encountered a homeless man begging on the downtown Detroit
street that led to the tunnel to Canada when I was returning home
from a meeting with my Michigan attorney. I had a few U.S. dollars
in my pocket and handed them to this man, but, with the following,
loudly spoken condition: "this is for food, not booze!"

But, this was not the way Doug gave - he gave as Giving should
always be – without condition. So, into the hand of this man went
my 2 bucks along with my most sincere wish - "Good Luck!" He
hobbled away, mumbling to himself.

Doug and I have remained friends over the years. We exchange
email and he sends me a Christmas card every year as well as his
articles that have been published in the top law journals.

His giving though, went well beyond helping those souls on the
street.

In the end, and with the final decision left totally to me, we made a
settlement agreement that would not even come close to
compensating me and my music partner for having created a song
that was a vital part of such a successful, worldwide recording
project, and he, for ALL his time, effort and expertise in trying to get
justice for me and my music partner. In Doug's heart-of-hearts, he
knew it would simply end the great stress that this case
represented for me at this totally tumultuous period of time. And
that was good enough for him.

I've never made mention to Doug of our long walk to and from the
office in all this time but I fully suspect he still leaves home each
day with a pocketful of one dollar bills, parks far from his office so
that he can bring a little joy into the lives of the less fortunate, and,
takes on clients that are in the same position as I was a decade
ago.


In other words Giving - as Giving should always be.

© Rick Beneteau
 

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  

_________________________________________________

The Story of Big Jim


The power went out. Again!

I looked out my second story office window and knew exactly why.
I could hear the sounds throughout the morning. This crew of 4 men
and 3 bucket trucks stringing power lines along the new poles they
had been planting in the front and back yards of my neighborhood
the past few weeks.

Often during this time, I would be working on my laptop on the front
porch and watched this professional teamwork in total
synchronicity, moving from pole to pole in planned sequence. First
it was connecting the phone lines. Then, cable. Today, and finally,
from the back alley, the electricity.

What was of extreme interest to me was the foreman of this well-
oiled machine. A big, burly middle-aged fellow whose sheer stature
and hard look would intimidate most. But, he always uttered his
commands, some very loudly as his underlings were often thirty-five
feet in the air, with warm authority.

You could tell his crew really liked and had great respect for him.
Although this was far from your typical 'lean on your shovel' squad,
they still joked while working at a well-managed pace. Bossman,
whose job description no doubt mandated a no hands-on, no
physical labor approach, was always doing something to speed
things along, be it picking up refuse or spooling wire. In fact, while
they were in the process of connecting my power, guess who was
pruning the overgrown pine tree branches in my backyard to make
it easier for his boys?

It was at this point that I brought my high-wire friends a sampling of
my special blend coffee (I prepared this, just prior to 'lights out'),
reserved usually for special company. Setting a tray down on the
patio table, I engaged 'Jim' in conversation and remarked how much
I enjoyed watching them work and how much it reminded me of my
great production team when I owned a drycleaning business.
Another well-oiled, and fun to run machine.

His sun-hardened face beamed with pride as he began telling me
about what a great group of guys he had and how they were the
most productive crew in this large company.

No wonder!

Our conversation was not a long one. Jim had to get his boys back
to the matter at hand, and that was to get my power back. But it
served to make me think that here was a man who loved what he
does, made a positive impact on those around him and earned the
sincere respect of those under, and, above him. I could only
surmise that Jim also had a great family life.

Why do I tell this story? Simple. It's a simple story of real success!
No, Jim is not famous. Probably never will be. Nor is he rich as I
could tell, or any of those things that people usually associate with
the term 'success.' If this man won the lottery today I'd bet the farm
he'd be planting poles and stringing wire and having fun with his
crew the very next week. He is, judging by my brief encounter with
him, a simple man who possesses one of the true keys of
success: He loves what he does!

Let me ask you this? Are you doing what you love? Are you having
fun with your 'job'? Do you feel a real sense of purpose and genuine
passion for what you are offering people, be it your labor, your
customers or your employees? Do you bring those people around
you the great value that they deserve and that you are capable of
giving? Are you respected by those around you for what you do?
Are you, well, happy?

Let me assure you, if you answered "no" to any of the above
questions, it's far from too late to change everything in your life!

In my top-selling eBook, Success: A Spiritual Matter, I had the
extreme honor of interviewing 14 very successful entrepreneurs.
One of those, Paul Lemberg, offered this: "Make sure your work is
personally meaningful. If it's not – change what you're doing!" He
continues, "Figure out what your purpose is. Not a purpose for you
to shellac to a piece of wood and put on the wall. Not a purpose
like a check box for your business plan. But a purpose like "what
are you here on earth for?" That kind of purpose."

One of the famous quotes of legendary Jim Rohn goes like this:
"Turn your vocation into your vacation."

One of the highlights of putting Success: A Spiritual Matter
together was conducting a live interview with Jim Rohn. He made
this amazing statement: "Beware of the thief on the street that's
after your purse. But also be aware of the thief in your mind that's
after your promise."

Don't let that thief steal your promise and keep from the world
everything that you have to offer. You CAN do what you love. You
CAN start right now.

Contemporary mythologist, Joseph Campbell, offers 3 words as the
number one rule of life, which pervades all cultures and religions:
"Follow Your Bliss".

Isn't it about time that you followed yours?

© Rick Beneteau

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  
 

_________________________________________________

If Only . . .


She was about 30 years old. A pretty woman to me. She had
several lines of deep scars on her face that I assumed were the
result of severe injuries caused by a car accident. Or worse, an
attack. This disturbed me.

I noticed her from my balcony within days of moving in to my
highrise, walking 2 little white dogs around the block. She was
always alone, always with a look of deep sadness on her face.

I must have ran into her at least twenty times during my year-and-a-
quarter of living here, on the elevator or on the grounds of our
building, each time trying to engage her in conversation - about the
weather, her dogs, anything to try to get her to at least, smile.

Never once did she smile though, or answer me with more than a
couple of words. After each attempt, I just left her with my smile,
and let it go.

Like you I'm sure, I have been face-to-face with people that have
been deeply depressed. In my heart of hearts, I knew she was.
Without knowing anything about her, I could only surmise that
whatever had happened in her life to cause this disfigurement was
the reason. Perhaps shallow of me, but I couldn't even imagine
looking in the mirror each day to see such hideous physical
devastation.

On Monday of last week, I proceeded out the main doors of my
building to go on my morning walk. I noticed 2 police cars and a
forensics van in the visitors parking lot. My mind began to wonder
as to what this could possibly have been about. I concluded that
perhaps an elderly tenant had passed away, and promptly forgot
about it.

On the following Friday, I discovered the truth. I saw one of the
building managers who had just returned from a funeral - the funeral
of this young woman.

She had done what was unperceivable to me - she took her own
life.

I was shaken. I learned in that conversation that her scars were the
result of surgery, for cancer. I became deeply disturbed.

Truth is, I had thought so many times that I should invite this
woman for a coffee, or for a walk in the sculpture park below of our
building. Something where some friendly conversation could 'break
the ice' and hopefully have her smile. Even just a single time. I have
a gift where I can make most people smile:-) In retrospect though, I
can only now imagine that she had a great smile.

But I will never know. Because, as many times as I thought to
make this overture, never once did I act upon it. And being that I
have been blessed to have been in a position many times in my life
to have 'been there' for people who were depressed, and even
suicidal, I again, did NOT ACT UPON IT.

Guilty? Yes, I am.

Of course, I cannot afford to even begin to blame myself, a total
stranger to her, for what she felt she ultimately had no choice to do.
On the other hand, I could have chosen to do something, and act
upon my desire to at least try to help.

The obvious questions arise. Would she have accepted my
invitation to a coffee shop, or for a walk down the trail? If she did,
could I have made even a small difference in her life and actually
see her smile -- at least once? That, would have been wonderful to
me. Or, could I have made even a small impact that would have
ultimately led to, well, her deciding NOT swallow the overdose of
medicine that she did?

Thing is, I will never know, because I chose NOT TO ACT. Too
busy, of course. Too many other things going on in my personal
life. Too many other things going on in the lives I was close to. Too
busy in my business life.

If I can take away one lesson with me from this dark experience, it
is the one I wish to share with you -- when your intuition tells you to
do something not only once, but many times, ACT UPON IT. Your
intuition is your biggest friend, whether you know it now, or not.

It honestly hurts to know that I did nothing to follow up on my own
intuition in this sad, sad case. It is even sadder to know that I never
even knew the name of this pretty woman.

I dislike, and try to hardly ever use, the word, "if". It is usually used
in context with a negative circumstance. In this case though, I can
now only wonder would have happened, "If Only . . ."

© Rick Beneteau
 

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  

__________________________________________________

The Legacy You Leave


All You will leave behind for the world to remember is
Your Legacy, so ask yourself:

Will you have earned the respect of your peers and the
admiration of your critics?

Will you have acted humbly at the peak of success and graceful
in the face of defeat?

Will you have kept your childlike wonder and reveled in the
beauty of the world and the small miracles that each day
brought?

Will you be remembered for how often you laughed and brought
smiles to the hearts of others?

Will small children and the elderly have been overjoyed to be
around you?

Will others have trusted you with their inner most secrets?

Will you have forgiven and offered heartfelt apology?

Will you have looked for the very best, and done your utmost
to build worth, in others?

Will you have fed a hungry child or clothed a naked man or
given hope to a stranger in dire need?

Will you have left this world a better place by the life you
have lived?


Ask yourself, what Legacy will You Leave?

© Rick Beneteau
 

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  

__________________________________________________

In My Life


In My Life
I have savored the sweetness of Victory.

In My Life
I have been Vanquished and know too well the
bitter taste of Defeat.

________________

In My Life
I have been so overwhelmed with Joy that I thought
I could not contain it.

In My Life
I have been so overwrought with Sorrow that I
believed I could not bear another moment of it.

________________

In My Life
I have Believed so strongly that no person or
circumstance could impair my conviction.

In My Life
I have Doubted so deeply that a single criticism
could sway my belief.

________________

In My Life
I have been so Optimistic there wasn't a single
dream of mine that I was not convinced I could make a
reality.

In My Life
I have been so Discouraged that I dare not dream.

________________

In My Life
I have lived with Hope and been magnificently
empowered.

In My Life
I have been Hopeless and rendered powerless.

________________

In My Life
I have enjoyed Abundance where I felt no person or
circumstance could ever take away my worldly possessions.

In My Life
I have lost all my worldly possessions and been
humbled by destitution.

________________

In My Life
I have recklessly Judged and caused great pain for
others.

In My Life
I have felt the brutal sting of being Judged.

________________

In My Life
I have been Admired so ardently that it was almost embarrassing.

In My Life
I have been Despised so deeply that I felt like
crawling away and hiding.

________________

In My Life
I have Apologized and felt the amazing healing.

In My Life
I have Forgiven and felt the amazing freedom.

________________

In My Life
I have flown with Angels and felt the true comfort
they brought.

In My Life
I have danced with the Devil, delving into shameful
worldly temptations.

________________

In My Life
I have bathed in the pure calm of Peace.

In My Life
I have endured the calamity of Chaos.

________________

In My Life
I have been Charitable and made a difference in
someone's life.

In My Life
I have accepted Charity that made a difference in
my life.

In My Life
I have been Selfish and made a difference to one.

________________

In My Life
I have Compromised and created a better outcome.

In My Life
I was too ignorant to know when Compromise was a
good thing and there was no outcome at all.

________________

In My Life
I have been a Hero - to my partner, to my
children, to my parents, to my siblings, to my friends, and to
strangers.

In My Life
I have acted Cowardly - towards my partner, my
children, my parents, my siblings, my friends, and strangers.

________________

In My Life
I have been willing to Sacrifice for the greater
good.

In My Life
I have been so reluctant to risk my Security that
I missed so much goodness.

________________

In My Life
I have learned that I will never do wrong by doing
anything for the right reason.

In My Life
I have learned that I will never be right
by doing anything for the wrong reason.

________________

In My Life
I have discovered that the greater Good doesn't always feel good.

In My Life
I have discovered that when the greater Good was not my goal,
nothing good was accomplished.

________________

Now, may I ask . . .

In Your Life . . .?


© Rick Beneteau
 

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  

_________________________________________________

The Seller’s Creed


I will not make sales. I will make Customers.

I will target the heart of my Customer. Never their wallet.

My Customer is the lifeblood of my business.

Though I may sell my Customers what they want,
I will deliver what they need and make their lives better.

Courtesy and Service are cornerstones of my relationship with
my Customer.

I will view complaints as opportunities . . . opportunities to
create lifelong Customers.

The quality of my products and how I treat my Customers will
determine the level of My Success.

My prosperity will come from ‘growing’ people.

My best advertisement is my product, and, the Customer service
behind it.

Making money without making friends is not good business.

I will guide my business with the perfect blend of heart and
mind.

I will make Integrity my trademark. After all, isn’t integrity
all I have and all I will be remembered for?

I will compete only against myself as the only true
measurement is against myself.

It is fine to fail. In fact, it is most often a requirement of
success.

My reputation is everything - my ego, nothing.

Every pittance I earn unjustly is a debt of fortune I must
repay.

No matter the fame or fortune that may follow me,
My values, My family and My friends must remain at the very
core of my being.

Better I be trusted and respected, than be materially rich.

Better I be a dolphin swimming with sharks, than a shark.

(you can download an mp3 of The Seller's Creed here:
http://www.bettersalesrightnow.com/creed.mp3 )

© Rick Beneteau

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  
 

__________________________________________________


The Entrepreneur's Prayer


As I awaken with the gift of yet another day and prepare for the
tasks at hand, I offer up this most ardent prayer:

I pray for continued clarity of purpose so that I may hold my
vision steady and keep my focus on the needs and success of
others, which in turn shall bring me my success.

I pray for the wisdom to expect abundance in my life, that it
surrounds me and is available for the taking and to be shameless
and unapologetic upon its receipt, for I deserve abundance.

I pray for a cheerful countenance, be it clear or cloudy skies
and that I may radiate and infect others with my positive
attitude.

I pray for the trust of others that they may recognize my
sincerity and true intentions so that we may move forward
together.

I pray for the strength to fend off adversity and use my desire
and determination as both weapon and shield.

I pray for the courage to carry forth my convictions during the
battle of business and to resist temptation to a quicker monetary
result when such temptation compromises these things for which I
stand.

I pray that I may be used as a lightning rod to collect the
amazing ideas already present in the universe and when blessed
with such inspiration, that I may be able to apply my talents and
abilities to turn the power of thought into measurable
advancement of my goals.

I pray to retain my childhood wonder so that I can recognize and
revel in the small miracles of each day that others may miss.

I pray for an infinite supply of self-confidence for it alone
fortifies faith, strengthens my resolve and conquers the largest
enemy I will ever face - fear.

I pray for a compassionate spirit and the patience to offer those
who seek my advice and my help, my full and undivided attention.

I pray for good health and a feeling of well being, and the
continued desire to improve those areas of my physical life I may
be neglecting in the name of my spiritual and entrepreneurial
advancement.

I pray that today is a day of excellence and at its conclusion I
can acknowledge and be grateful for the forward motion I have
made and the growth I have experienced.

I pray most of all for the understanding and support of those
closest to my heart, my family, that they will equate what may
seem like endless hours of apparent pre-occupation with affairs
of business to what is at the very core of my being, that which
drives me, for once I achieve what I have set out in its fullest,
I will become that more complete being I strive to be.

It is for these things that I pray, for I am an entrepreneur.

(you can download an mp3 of The Entrepreneur's Prayer here:
http://www.bettersalesrightnow.com/prayer.mp3 )

© Rick Beneteau
 

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  

__________________________________________________

The Great White Yacht


My intention was to write this article with a fairly clear idea of what I
wanted to express. But you know what they say about intentions –
at least good ones?:-)

I came out to my balcony with laptop in tow and I started typing.
However, the impressive powerboats and mammoth lake and ocean
freighters passing by against the magnificent backdrop of the
downtown Detroit skyline soon had my full attention.

I chose to live here just because of this million dollar view, and I
work out here in my ‘second office’ almost every day, so why would
I be so distracted this particular time?

The answer didn’t take long to appear. Coming into view a foot at a
time was this sleek, bright white yacht with blacked-out windows. It
slowly cruised by, as if to say “watch me!” She was indeed a thing
of beauty, all 120 or so feet of her. The ultimate physical statement
of success and achievement!

Suddenly, my pre-conceived notion of how this article was going to
unfold simply flew away, just like the flocks of roosting seagulls do
as I approach them on my morning walk along the river’s edge.

I began to wonder exactly who owned this stunning ship and how
he or she ‘attracted’ it into their life. No doubt the owner was taking
several weeks off, or perhaps even the entire summer, to cruise the
Great Lakes. Or even better, this yacht set to sea in the Caribbean,
headed up the Atlantic seaboard entered the St. Lawrence Seaway
and sailed down through Lake Ontario and Lake Erie to pass by my
balcony - to inspire me!

A lingering look through powerful binoculars made this ultimate
status symbol all the more beautiful!

I returned to reality, wondering who the owner could be.

One thing I can assure you is that someone created a lot of wealth
in order to be able to navigate this vessel past my building at this
most appropriate time!

You might be thinking that this came from inherited money and you
could be right. The point remains, however, that one person, at one
time, with a single idea, put into motion “the seed” that attracted all
the money required to float this multi-million dollar ship down the
Detroit River. Let’s examine this.

For the sake of argument, let’s assume that our “captain” here is
also a captain in the entrepreneurial world. He or she owns or is an
integral part of a successful company or corporation.

As is the case with most real success stories, this entrepreneur
probably started with only “the seed” and a shoestring budget. And
so, the important question becomes: how did this seed grow into
the success it is today?

Ninety-nine-point-nine percent of the answer most likely lies within
the title of this article. They “thought” their way to the top! I can
guarantee you that this entrepreneur “thinks” like the world’s most
successful entrepreneurs. He or she thinks “success thoughts”.

Are you wondering what success thoughts are?

Success thoughts are simply those powerful and empowering
thoughts you think, minute-to-minute, hour-by hour, day-to-day,
every day, that set into motion the Universal Law of Attraction –
what you think is what you get! Think success – achieve success.

Henry Ford thought success thoughts.

Thomas Edison thought success thoughts.

Tony Robbins and Donald Trump think success thoughts, each and
every day, as often as they can!

As human beings, we are all subject to slacking off, and no person
can honestly remain in totally “positive mode” every second of every
waking hour. However, the simple yet powerful rule is that your
thoughts dictate what happens to you, not only in business, but
also in your personal life. Think good thoughts – get good things in
return. Think GREAT thoughts – get GREAT results! Change your
belief system – change your results!

Don’t believe me?

Here’s what Henry Ford had to say on the subject: “Whether you
think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right!”

Modern day master motivator Tony Robbins chimes in: “If you do
what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.”
(this HAS to make sense to you:-)

Famous author, Dr. Joyce Brothers, offers this pearl: “Success is a
state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a
success.”

The Reverend Robert Schuller says: “The only place where your
dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking.”

Donald Trump has it: “If you're going to be thinking, you may as
well think big.”

I wouldn’t dare put myself into the same category as the above
icons but I can tell you in no uncertain terms that EVERY time I
have reaped the financial benefits and personal satisfaction from
having a project become successful, I WAS thinking the “right
stuff”!

Reflecting back on my entrepreneurial path, I can see that almost
every time a project failed, I was not “in-tune” with the universe nor
was I “thinking success thoughts”. I was thinking limiting, negative
thoughts, such as how much money I was spending developing the
project or how much time was being spent to complete it or worse,
visualizing it as a failure, which is exactly what it became!

This is no coincidence. It’s a Universal Law. Change your thinking –
change your results!

Even The Bible says it’s so: “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.
[Proverbs 23:7]”

So, the burning question becomes: “Can YOU Think Your Way to
the Top!?”

And here’s the real answer: “YES, You CAN Think Your Way to the
Top by thinking the very same success thoughts as the world’s
most successful entrepreneurs!”

Let me leave you with the chorus lyrics of a song I co-wrote called
“I Will” with the hope they will begin to get you thinking the right
stuff!:

I Will because I can
I’ll Do cause I believe
The strength I need to make the change
Is deep inside of me
I’ll Walk where I have crawled
I will Run til I can fly
My wings will fill my dreams will soar
The moment that I say I Will

Here’s to seeing You at the Top!

© Rick Beneteau

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  

__________________________________________________

Never is Forever

Watching her on our 8-mm home movies, impeccably dressed and
enchanting all those around her with charm, I can vividly smell her
Estee Lauder perfume. She was as beautiful as any Hollywood
star.

For years and years of my life, Super Bowl Sunday was celebrated
at her home. It became a tradition.

SuperBowl Sunday promised all the soda pop, potato chips and
pretzels a junk food deprived kid could devour with glee. My parents
were very health conscious, a healthy habit that I appreciate more
today than I did as a child.

I grew to love this woman and her husband, a focused and
successful entrepreneur.

In 1993, she held his hand as he lost his battle with cancer,
slipping away from her in the home they both so dearly loved.

I have always believed something in her died that day, too. She
never seemed to get past the anger stage at losing the love of her
life.

She became incredibly bitter, even nasty, to anyone that tried to
help her.

Hard of hearing, it wasn't uncommon that in public she would loudly
'whisper' disparaging remarks like, "Look at how bow-legged that
woman is!"

One time, while waiting for her appointment in the office of my
optometrist, my doctor appeared at the reception desk. Out she
burst with, "My God, she looks like a prostitute!"

Talk about wanting to slither away and hide in embarrassment.

It wasn't long before almost everyone in her life abandoned her. I
decided to hang in there. I knew the woman behind the pain.
Eventually, I became her lifeline.

It was during my father's funeral that she fell and broke her leg.
Well into her eighties by now, her recuperation was slow. Much to
her dismay, she was released from the hospital and placed into a
very nice retirement home to complete her re-hab.

She doled out nastiness and refused to co-operate with the nurses
and staff. She chose not to socialize, preferring to spend all her
time alone, even taking her meals in her room. All she wanted was
to go home.

It was during one of my visits that she made the very strong point
that she would NEVER live in a nursing home.

Two months later she returned home and for the next few years she
must have echoed those words dozens of times. She would never
live in a nursing home. Never.

Wheelchair bound now, her quality of her life went downhill very
quickly. Although she certainly had the money, she refused to hire
a private housekeeper. She would not allow "strangers" into the
sanctity of her home.

Checking on her daily became part of my routine. Getting groceries
included accepting tongue lashings over a forgotten or wrong brand
item, followed by a kiss and a most sincere thank you as I left.

She refused to use the walker she was provided and had some bad
falls. Most times she managed to crawl to her phone to call me.
Once, I popped in and found her lying helplessly on the floor,
unable to move. She even set fire to her kitchen once.

At these times I gently reminded her that maybe we should look at
some of the very nice retirement homes in the area. "I'll NEVER go
to one of those places!" was her retort.

It was an exceptionally cold winter evening when I received a phone
call from one of her neighbors. I had missed calling or visiting - a
rarity. Her neighbor told me that the same lights were on in her
house for two days and nights, which was unusual.

I immediately knew something was wrong and rushed right over
feeling very guilty. Noticing newspapers sandwiched between her
doors, I said a silent prayer that she was okay.

Her door was jammed by her toppled over wheelchair. Fearing the
worst, I fought to push the door open.

Forcing my way in, I was relieved to find her staring at me, laying
on the floor several yards away just outside of her bedroom.

"Where the hell have you been? I've been here for 3 (expletive)
days!" In true fashion she fought the ambulance attendants tooth
and nail, screaming that she was not going to leave her home.

In the emergency room, she did her best to make her nurses
squirm with a grand display of non-co-operation. They were so kind
and sweet to her and even found this eighty-nine year-old fireball to
be rather "cute". At that point, I didn't.

The highlight of the night was a solid right hand across my face for
trying to coax some co-operation. Even with a hefty injection of
Valium, it took several hours for her to finally close her eyes. On
my best days I do not have this kind of raw energy!

I left the hospital that night knowing she could never return home.

After thorough assessments by various departments and a meeting
with the hospital discharge planner, I had a "short list" of extended
care facilities. Her step daughter arrived from out of town a few days
later to help me select one we thought she would 'like.'

We chose a beautiful new place and the wheels were set in motion.
I checked in on her daily. She was very angry with me for putting
her in the hospital already. All that remained was how I was going
to break the news to her.

To spare her further trauma, I told her that, as before, she was
going to another place to re-hab. A date was set for her to be
moved. It was scheduled for the Friday before Super Bowl Sunday.

I had planned to be there with her during the transfer, but early that
morning I received a call from the hospital. They wouldn't tell me
details but asked me to come right up. Another silent prayer.

I was horrified to find her in the fetal position and on life support.
She had suffered a major stroke.

I called the family and we spent the weekend with her in a special
room the hospital staff set up for us.

The issue of life support had to be addressed. The tubes and wires
were disconnected Saturday night. I remained there that evening when
the others left. On Sunday she was still hanging on, like the trooper
she was.

It was my last SuperBowl Sunday with her. We didn't see the
game. No potato chips or pretzels or festivity. No laughter and the
elusive scent of Estee Lauder trailing behind her like a glamorous
shadow.

Just after 9 p.m., a few minutes shy of the end of the SuperBowl
Game and a few days shy of her ninetieth birthday, she peacefully
passed on to a better place. I hope he was waiting for her.

She would NEVER live in a nursing home.

© Rick Beneteau

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  

__________________________________________________

The Hardest Day

It was one of the hardest days of my life. The weeks leading up to it
became increasingly more difficult, and even a few days after, my
heart is still heavy. Here's the full story . . .

My youngest daughter and I have shared a very special relationship for
twenty three years. Not only did she have to face the normal day-to-
day stuff of growing up in this complicated world, Teri was also given
the challenge of conquering many serious medical issues and the
accompanying adversity that comes with brain surgery and countless
hospital incarcerations, rehabilitation programs, a never-ending merry-
go-round of doctors and the juggling of powerful medications to control
her debilitating seizures.

Then, as if all this was not enough, she was partially paralyzed on one
side of her body and dealing with 'being different' from other children
was also piled on her plate.

I can still feel the lump in my throat on her first day of kindergarten
when she proudly stood at the front of the line that was formed
when the school bell rang only to have this bigger boy push her back
so he could take her place. There were many similar hurts throughout
her younger years but together we were always able to bounce back
and forge ahead after a good daughter-daddy talk and a refilled tank of
self-esteem.

Teri also experienced the trauma of her father and mother divorcing
and her life being thrown into a state of upheaval. Not an easy thing to
get through for even the healthiest nine year-old. We had many
heart wrenching exchanges where I did my fatherly best to reassure
her that she was not responsible for mommy and daddy moving apart
and that we loved her and her sister more than ever. She lived with me
for the majority of time after the divorce.

Summer memories of Saturday mornings playing tee-ball with other
handicapped kids and running the bases with her little leg brace are
especially sweet to me. She learned how to sign at Easter Seal camp
and an especially proud moment was when all alone on stage she
signed the song, "The Wind Beneath My Wings", in front of the entire
school body at her end-of-year grade eight assembly.

The teenage Teri became increasingly more self-confident and self-
assertive. She graduated from high school and signed up for college
courses while volunteering at the hospital on the children's ward that
was so often her home away from home. I can still hear a sixteen year
old's shaken voice and heavy sobs as I tried to help soothe a first
broken heart. That day I think mine was breaking just a much!

Teri has made her father very proud turning so many tragedies into
triumphs. Today, our bond continues to grow as other challenges and
issues of life come and go. She often helps to guide me. There hasn't
been too many days that we haven't been on the phone, often more
than once, chit chatting about something serious, or just nothing at all.
That however, is about to change.

Two years ago she met Kyle in an Internet chat room. Yikes! They
communicated online and by phone for months. He played drums in a
Christian band and she really began to trust him. She eventually
invited him to come and visit her in Windsor. Inasmuch as I suffer
from the 'no one is good enough for my daughter' syndrome as much
as the next dad, they certainly seemed perfectly suited for one
another.

He moved down here a year ago and they made plans to be married
later this year. And, move to the city where his parents live this spring.
Four hundred long miles away. The day I referred to in the opening
sentence of this story was, of course, moving day.

I know from the powerful, emotional feelings that overwhelmed me for
the weeks leading up to this day that the role of parenting never really
ends. It became all the clearer to me that how much you love and
deeply care for your children only grows with time.

Something I wrote a few years back began to ring truer than ever:
"Of all the good parents I know, I can't think of one who doesn't love
their children more than they are loved back."

To be blantantly honest, I was very surprised at how difficult "letting
go" really was for me - someone who believes himself to be at least
somewhat plugged into the inner workings of this great universe. This
was one of those goliath heart-over-mind struggles!

Now I must also fully let go and trust the universe that Teri is going to
be ok and has made a good choice in moving forward in her life. I
must live by my own promises to her that I would unconditionally
support her in her choices and just send her positive thoughts and
prayers. I must fully believe that as I have been allowed to learn and
grow from every choice that I have made in my life, so must she!

A newer friend of mine, who just happened to appear in my life at the
apex of my struggle, offered this to me the day before she moved
away:
"It's time to trust this fully and completely and ride it all the way
through."

So, I must make the final turn from my own selfish feelings of fear and
loss and make my reality that what has happened here is a wonderful
opportunity for growth and advancement - for both father and
daughter.

Teri is walking her walk, and so must I!

I will always hold dear the bittersweet memory of the sunny spring day
as she rolled away in a twenty-six foot moving van to start a new life
far from her father's home, but never far from his heart.

It will remain one of the hardest days of my life.

© Rick Beneteau

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  
 

__________________________________________________

These Are Crying Times


The headlines proclaim:
More Bombs and Beheadings in Baghdad;
Worldwide Terrorist Threats Rise Dramatically;
Tsunami Death Toll to Top 150,000.

These are indeed, Crying Times.

Not a positive way to name or begin an article that I hope will positively
impact you, but nonetheless, the truth and reality of our world today.

Personally, I have a difficult time watching a World Vision television
commercial let alone seeing innocent hostages plead for their very
lives while their cowardly hooded captors pose in the background.
More times than not, I am overwhelmed with a sense of sadness that
stays with me for hours. Sometimes this debilitating feeling lasts for
days. Not good.

A week ago we were all witness to scenes of young, desperate
mothers who could no longer hold on to their children as the
monstrous onslaught of rushing water separated them in the recent
tsunami in South East Asia. The modern world has never seen an
event of such unimaginable devastation.

While I was supposed to be enjoying dinner with a close friend in a
nice restaurant the other night, I found myself mired in melancholy,
rambling about the unthinkable loss and suffering caused by the
natural disaster. I had felt "dark" since the moment I heard about it,
watching the heart wrenching stories unfold on the tube, and quite
honestly, I allowed my shock and sadness to get in the way of my
normally positive thinking, impeding my forward progress for days.

I decided I had to change how I deal with things like this.

My goal though is not to try to become less sensitive. I wouldn't know
where or how to start if it were. I simply need to find the way to
properly "frame" negative news such as this so that I remain in-tune
with what is going on in the world but at the same time, not allow it to
consume and control me.

How about you? Perhaps events like 9/11 or the recent tsunami had
the same impact on you. Perhaps it is other things, such as your
finances, your relationships or maybe even health issues, that
dominate your thinking and stop you from moving forward and enjoying
life.

Here's a dangerous question: Would you want the things you think
about all day long to become your reality? Most of us would answer
with a resounding NO!

One of the laws of this great universe has it that what we think, we get.
Even The Bible says it’s so: “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.
[Proverbs 23:7]”

Sadly, most people on this planet think negative thoughts all day long
and therefore receive negative results, day in and day out. Sadder still,
many feel utterly helpless and remain at the mercy of their negative
thinking not knowing that they can in fact change their thinking and
therefore their results.

In my case, I allowed this horrific event to invade my mind, poison my
thinking and otherwise control me, for days.

Here's what I chose to do after realizing I had yet again followed an all
too familiar pattern. I shut off CNN. I shut out the mental images I saw
on television the second they tried to re-run themselves across the
screen of my mind. I called and emailed some of my best friends and
business associates to get some ideas on how to try to help with the
relief effort. I did some research and sent an email to my newsletter
list after finding a directory (ok, so I found it on CNN's site:-) that listed
legitimate organizations that were involved in the relief efforts that
were accepting donations. I began writing this article. In other words, I
made the decision to change my thinking and then approach the
situation that had impacted me in such a negative way, in a positive
and proactive manner.

No sooner had I made this choice than I began to hear the stories of
true miracles that are just beginning to emerge out of the chaos.
Children, feared drowned, being found in hospitals. Incredible tales of
personal survival. Families being reunited after all hope seemed lost.
Unintended heroes making great sacrifices to save total strangers.
There will be thousands of happy endings. We are just now becoming
witness to the world community coming together on a scale like no
other in history to help their fellow man. Warring factions putting down
their weapons to help save their "enemies". Personally, I am now fully
focused on the triumph that will come out of this tragedy. A good
thing:-)

This is the time of year most of us will make decisions to improve our
lives during the upcoming year. Perhaps part of this spiritual facelift
can be that we take steps to change the way we think. The way we
think about ourselves, our problems, our family and friends, our work
and the world around us.

Og Mandino, author of "The Greatest Salesman in the World", who I
had the pleasure of hearing speak just prior to his passing in 1996,
offered the world this profound pearl:

"Build this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at any
imperfections that you fear may impede your progress. Remind
yourself, as often as necessary, that you are a creature of God and
have the power to achieve any dream by lifting up your thoughts. You
can fly when you decide that you can. Never consider yourself
defeated again. Let the vision in your heart be in your life's blueprint.
Smile!"

We can choose to be defeated by the way we think or we can as Og
suggests, decide to fly. And Smile!

My wish is that you create a year filled with beautiful, fantastic flights
and unending, sunny smiles!

© Rick Beneteau

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  
 

__________________________________________________

When the Giving Hurts

“Give ‘til it hurts.” You’ve probably heard this a thousand times. I
know I have. A well-intentioned expression that I always found
somewhat strange as “giving” and “hurt” are concepts that seem to
be polar opposite.

I want to share with you a personal story where “giving” in fact “hurt”
a person I was trying to help. In order to do that, I need to give you
a little background about myself. Please indulge me.

For whatever reason the universe has, I have been blessed to have
had many people seek my counsel during my fifty years of living.
They trusted that I could help them in some way.

I’ve been told that I am a good listener. Coupled with an inherent
desire to help others, even during my high school days, I seemed
to become the counselor of choice for many of my peers.

I vividly recall private chats I had with my high school cohorts,
normally conducted in my sooped-up ’67 ‘Cuda, during lunch, spare
periods or skipped-out classes. Problems about girlfriends,
boyfriends, teachers and parents were the norm. Usually self-
esteem issues were at the core, as is the case with most
problems thirty years later.

And later, my twenty-and-thirty-something friends and family
members, as well as many of the employees in my drycleaning
business, could always count on complete confidence and my
objectivity when discussing problems that they had in their personal
lives.

As life moved along, I was faced with a myriad of not only
challenges to overcome, but tragedies to deal with. The death of
two of my siblings, my father and many close family members and
friends, business losses, divorce and being the parent of a special
needs child were among them. The lessons learned and the
strength gained from these life experiences ultimately led to what I
have chosen to do with my life today.

But being pretty well-schooled in life does not always mean that
one has the right answers though.

He has been in my life a long time. I was mostly always on the
listening end. Conversation after conversation he would laundry-list
his assorted problems. And, as many “victims of life” have it, they
were never in short supply. I would allow him to “share” his stories
of suffering, time after time, consuming much of mine. Like the
traditional psychologist, I would just listen, as I felt listening was a
large part of “my role” in trying to help him.

Thing was, no matter what suggestions I would offer to try to help
him, the problems not only remained, but amplified over time. He
never acted on my advice and I eventually began to feel rather
impotent and confused about how I could make a difference in his
life.

Suddenly, in a conversation last year, at a point where I became
very irritated at listening to his negativity, it struck me. This person
was receiving so much more benefit from knowing I was listening to
him spew about his miserable life than he ever would from finding
solutions and improving it. It finally dawned on me that he LOVED
having problems!

I hadn’t helped him. Not one bit. In fact, for years, I was simply
feeding this need in him. I was helping him to have a great time at
his own pity party. All this time my giving was, in fact, hurting him!

He was shocked when I interrupted him mid-sentence and blurted
out that I didn’t want to listen to any more about his problems.
There was an awkward silence but when he finally asked me “why” I
quickly reassured him that I was still interested in helping him. But
it was not going to be on his terms anymore. The new deal would
have to be that from this conversation forward, we would not
discuss the past. Only the present and future. We would address
current issues by working on solutions. He would need to act on
my suggestions. Things such as reading certain books or listening
to certain tapes and making small adjustments in his thinking that
would produce positive results. Our future conversations would
consist only of discussing the changes he would sincerely attempt
to make to improve his life. He seemed somewhat stunned, and
reluctantly agreed.

Those next few times we talked though he tried very hard to steer
the conversation down his familiar road attempting to inform me of
the latest, greatest grief in his life. But I didn’t allow that, sticking to
the agreed-upon plan and changing direction to our new proactive
approach.

You know what? It really didn’t take too long before the tone of our
conversations became more positive in nature and soon he was
beginning to “get” some important concepts about how his mind,
and the universe, really worked. He started reading and listening to
materials I suggested. He was beginning to learn that his current
results were the product of his current thinking and that he was
never a victim of life – not for one minute! That growth has
continued.

Now we have great talks, often upbeat, and any real problem he
has is briefly outlined and then discussed in such a way that a
solution can be found and acted upon. In fact, I’ve become
comfortable sharing some of my problems with him! More than
once he’s reminded me to take some of my own medicine!

It’s both magical and comforting to me at the same time to know
that when the simple truths of how things work in this world are
realized, things can really begin to change for the better and in a
big way. It’s unfortunate that it took so long for me to realize how I
could better serve my friend, but then, the universe has it’s own
timing for things like this.

It is my hope that if you have been trying to help someone like my
friend and find yourself doing a lot of “listening”, that just maybe,
your giving is hurting.

© Rick Beneteau

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  

__________________________________________________

Take a Timely Time Out


It's something I'd done over the years at times when I felt a
little down or stressed. Now it's something I do almost every
day, sometimes several times a day, so that I feel less stress
and experience more joy in my life. For me, it's really a
magical, yet simple process. I'd like to share it with you.

I take a short time out to do what I call a Blessings Count. It's
not a process where I use a calculator or keep score or anything
like that. Here's how it works.

Usually early in the morning before I start working, I simply
shut out all the chatter in my mind and just focus on the fact
that so much in my life is so right. Just so many blessings.
Despite the pressures and problems of everyday life, it has
always been this way. It will be no different for you. We all
have many blessings no matter where we are in our lives:-)

I may conjure up fond memories and images of my daughters, my
grandchildren, my mom, my late father, brother or sister, or some
of my great friends. It may be remembering a kindness that was
extended to me or that I extended to someone. Perhaps it is just
the sunshine or much needed rain today.

They can be the shortest moments or the smallest things but
whenever I reflect upon these gifts I can't help but feel this
deep sense of gratitude. And joy. Suddenly and magically, I feel
whatever unnecessary negative weight I was carrying, lift. My
problems seem to self-adjust and take on the proper proportion.
Any fear I may have been feeling is reduced, or disappears. The
balancing I receive from acknowledging the wonderful, positive
and real blessings in my life, and feeling truly grateful for
them, is a very powerful force indeed!

Something else. I have become more sensitive to the little
everyday things that are truly blessings in my life. It might be
that little voice on the other end of the phone saying "Papa, I
love you". Do I ever feel blessed hearing that!

Could be the call from my mother who just wanted to say a very
sincere thank you for the tasty soup I made her. Even the fact
that I enjoyed cutting up the fresh vegetables to make a
nutritious meal for her and then be able to deliver it and have a
nice visit is a great blessing.

A few days ago I received an email from someone who seemed to be
at the end of his rope trying to get a new business off the
ground. He came across a piece I wrote called "The Entrepreneur's
Prayer" and he couldn't thank me enough for the extra ounce of
motivation he received from reading it. No greater blessing than
to be able to bless the lives of others. Truly.

"Let's choose today to quench our thirst for the 'good life' we
think others lead by acknowledging the good that already exists
in our lives. We can then offer the universe the gift of our
grateful hearts."
Sarah Ban Breathnach

How about you? Is your list of blessings as long as mine? Take a
time out and try a Blessings Count. I guarantee you will discover
a list just as long, and hopefully longer:-)

Here's how else a Blessings Count can improve your life. We are
continually bombarded by negativity in our lives. Our minds are
conditioned by our environment to run like the evening news - The
Channel 7 Action Bad News, that is! Negative thought after
negative thought streams endlessly on the screens of our minds
like the news anchor reeling off stories of suffering,
destruction and death. A good friend of mine suggested years ago
that some media mogul should create GNN - the Good News Network.
You know, feature only stories about the abundant, very good news
in this world we never get to hear about. Great idea, except that
because of our conditioning it would never find a large enough
audience to make it viable. Sad, but another story altogether.

Thing is though, with life being as complicated and confusing as
it is today, we need to be running as many good-news scripts
through our minds as often as we can each day. One great way to
accomplish this is to take that time out and do your Blessings
Count. You see, it will be all good news because you have so many
blessings to choose from!

Last week, at the apex of a short period of time where I had
become very stressed over business issues (and should have been
practicing what I am preaching) I received a call from a close
friend of mine. He was on the road in his large motor coach and
just pulling into this busy drive-thru coffee place. Problem was,
he turned into the one-way lane the wrong way!

The sound of angry horns and loud voices were soon heard and this
seemed to be perfect background ambience for the loud stress I
was allowing myself to feel. What happened next though was
amazing. One by one my unfrazzled friend, who was literally
plugging up the entire joint with his mammoth vehicle and
couldn't maneuver out of the situation, addressed each screaming
person very calmly in his low-key voice, even using some pretty
hilarious self-deprecating humor in the process. No one could
have possibly remained angry at this guy! Soon the horn blasts
silenced and the verbal exchanges turned friendly. I even heard a
few of the formerly angry motorists laugh! He got them all to
back up and get out of his way and most importantly, if he didn't
teach them a great life lesson, he certainly helped to make a
great day for them. I could only feel a little ashamed that I
wasn't handling my pressure at the time with such great grace.
Being made privy to this great moment was, well, a blessing!

Nothing seems to rattle my friend. I've never seen him angry or
appear to be overtly stressed. At times I have been tempted to
label him as irresponsible but I think just a layer deeper and
realize that he is indeed very wise to have learned to do
whatever version of a Blessings Count that he does - all day
long. For him, life is simply great - all the time. Incidentally,
he makes his living helping people to lead healthier and happier
lives and he has blessed many. Someone who walks his talk and
most certainly counts his blessings!

As the timing of the Universe often has it, someone passed along
this quote by Henry Ward Beecher just as I was putting the
finishing touches on this article:
"Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own
nature into his pictures."

What a wonderful way to end this article. I mean, if we can learn
to balance ourselves and feel less stress and experience more joy
in our daily lives so that we can in fact paint a spectacular
portrait of our own life, why not find a simple way to create
that masterpiece?

Life itself is a blessing. How we live it and recognize all the
blessings we truly have can make it all the more so.

Take a timely time out and Count Your Blessings!


© Rick Beneteau

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  

__________________________________________________

Is Your Past Preventing Your Prosperous Future?


You'll never stand on the mountaintop
Unless you've stood in the valley

We are all 'works in progress'. No exceptions. We move from one
point to another in our lives and hopefully in forward, upward
motion. As night is to day, and heat to cold, we experience the
very best, and the very worst that life has in store for us. The
'stuff' that defines our lives and forms our future.

Some people are indeed blessed to have not experienced those
earth shattering, traumatic events that rock the world for most
of us. But more blessed are those of us who have, and who have
learned, survived and grown from, such tragedies.

I write this for the latter group. Those of us that have
experienced traumatic events such as the death of a loved one,
loss of a special relationship, devastating financial loss or
have come face to face with a major health issue. Probably, you
have experienced more than just one of these at various points in
your life. I know I certainly have.

Please allow me to make a most powerful statement:
Our past is only memory.

Memories become distorted over time. The original event, because
we have re-run it countless times on the movie screen of our
minds, will become colored - most often very brightly, over time.
The more time that has passed, the more distorted the memory. The
exact memory, or, the original script if you will, will no longer
resemble anything close to the original event. If a movie camera
had captured the original event we would be very surprised, or
most likely shocked, if we compared the real version to the
current one we remember and believe to be 'our truth.'

What is most sad though is that most of us allow the ever-
distorting memories we have to affect our reality today. And so
often we find ourselves fearing the future based on the
inaccurate memory of the past. This can be, if we allow it, very
limiting to say the least.

A perfect example is someone who after experiencing failed
relationship after failed relationship finally finds someone with
whom they feel they can share their future with. Suddenly, fears
seep in and the person begins projecting the negative experiences
of past relationships into the wonderful, untarnished one they
now have. Before you know it, huge walls are being built and
defenses that have no place in the relationship start manifesting
themselves. Soon, the relationship doesn't stand a chance to grow
because the past has been allowed to permeate the present and
sadly kill the future.

Another example is one that I have been a victim of more times
than I'd care to admit. A new business opportunity or venture
presents itself. The potential sounds wonderful and the
excitement level builds. But it doesn't take very long before the
fear factor starts finding its way into the psyche. Memories of
past business failures creep up. The imagination starts running
wild with all the negatives that *might* happen. Before the pen
is even drawn to write the business plan every reason NOT to
proceed further has marched to the forefront. The imaginary
reasons for not moving ahead obliterate the sound, solid
reasoning to simply "do it!"

A quote of mine that is often used in print and Internet
publications has it:
"The Greatest Wonders of the World we'll never know for they were
destroyed before they were even built by the great enemy of man -
Fear!"

On a recent trip I decided to take the train and bring some books
with me. One was given to me a few years ago as a birthday gift
from a great friend, a very popular book called "Who Moved My
Cheese?” You might have read this best-seller (I sure was a
little late doing so) but one of the characters, a 'littleperson'
named Haw, ended up taking a long journey through The Maze that
he and the other characters lived in, in search of 'Cheese'
(symbolic for whatever in life you are searching for). The Cheese
they had enjoyed for so long had somehow disappeared one day.
Long story short, Haw leaves behind a series of picture messages
for Hem to find when they decide to separate - Haw to begin a
journey of self-discovery through the Maze, and Hem to remain
behind holding fast to his old thinking that the Cheese was
unfairly taken away and will somehow magically reappear. One of
these messages was: "Enjoy Change! Savor The Adventure And Enjoy
The Taste Of New Cheese!"

You've heard it said that change is the only constant in the
universe. So very true. When we accept that as truth and begin to
relish the challenge of a journey of change we begin to truly
"live life". Not always easy to do especially after experiencing
a major loss in life. But nevertheless, when we are confronted
with the prospect of change we should learn to accept it, and
then embrace the new journey with a fresh, positive outlook.

I want to share an experience from my life with you. One in which
I indeed embraced the challenge of change resulting in some
pretty amazing things.

For a short period of time I was convinced my life as a "creator"
was over. I had sold a very successful drycleaning business in
order to pursue my real passion in life - writing and producing
music. See, I had begun to enjoy some real successes as a part-
time songwriter in the 1980's and early 1990's and the prospect
of making my living doing what I loved most in this world seemed
reachable. If I approached this move smartly using the business
sense I had, I believed I simply could not fail.

After planning this major move and building a recording studio in
my home two years prior to selling my business, I was not ready
for what happened as soon as the proceeds of the sale of my
business made it into my bank account - divorce. Before the
studio was even broken in, my assets were seized by the court and
I was forced to leave my home (I had custody of my children
during this time) and studio.

I managed to make changes though and entered into a third party
arrangement that allowed me to continue for a few more years.
Although I was living the 'starving artist' lifestyle myself in
the process and had managed to position a talented singer to have
a great shot at "making it", it all came crashing down in late
1997. I was discouraged, even demoralized and very deep in debt!
My dream had evaporated and there I was, lost in The Maze.

That's when I happened to log on to the Internet for the first
time. The possibility of New Cheese. It didn't take me long to come to the
conclusion that I could somehow offer those online the equivalent
of what I could musically with my business experience. A few
partnerships were formed in tandem with my solo exploits and soon
I was well on my way to what has evolved into a wonderful new
career and opportunity to help a lot of people make positive
changes in their lives. Savoring New Cheese indeed!

I can honestly tell you that if I didn't embrace this 'journey
into the unknown' with an attitude of enthusiasm and conviction,
choosing not to allow that devastating setback from my past to
color my expectations, you certainly would not be reading this
article.

Change is inevitable. We cannot control so much of what life
throws our way but we can control how we deal with the change. As
difficult as it may seem at the time, believe me, we can choose
our attitude and indeed prosper in many ways from our journey to
discover New Cheese.

Do yourself a great favor and take a few moments to answer this
very important question:
Is your past preventing your prosperous future?

© Rick Beneteau

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org  

__________________________________________________

The Problem Movie


“The other day I got out my can-opener and was opening a can of
worms when I thought, what am I doing?!"
Jack Handey

Problems. Problems. Everywhere we turn there are problems!

The modern world and its monster media make darn sure you hear
about problems. Every hour of the day. Every day of the week.
Every week of the year. Bloody wars. Suicide bombings. Gruesome
murders. Killer storms. Throughout this non-stop bombardment of
negative news we have our own problems to deal with. Money
problems. Relationship problems. Health problems.

Life is problematic!

Let me ask you this question. Are you always worrying about your
problems, dwelling on how bad things are and constantly thinking
about the worst possible outcomes? Even if you’re not wrapped up
in your problems, do you still from time to time create what I
call a Problem Movie. You know, imagining the worst possible
outcomes to your problem, letting them flash across the screen of
your mind like your cable news channel? To a degree, I think we
all do this.

One of the basic, immutable Laws that govern this amazing
Universe is the Law of Attraction. I’ve written about this many
times simply because I have been so profoundly impacted by it, in
both positive and negative ways, in my five decades of living on
the planet. James Allen (1864-1912), author of what most modern
day self-development experts feel is the ‘bible’ of positive
thinking, “As A Man Thinketh”, sums this law up most succinctly:
“A man is literally what he thinks.”

Centuries before however, the Bible tells us so, “As a man
thinketh in his heart, so is he”. Proverbs 23:7

So I ask this, if we know the Law of Attraction to be true, then
why do we allow our problems and the negative thinking associated
with them to invade our lives even a little bit, let alone
dominate them as some people do? Afterall, no one controls our
thoughts and thinking but us, right?

I don’t profess to know the complete answer to that question. Nor
do I know why so many of us can’t seem to tune in enough to the
bad news networks or read page after negative page of the daily
newspaper. But I am learning more about human nature as I grow
older.

For instance, I have a small group of clients that use my Spirit
Coaching services and a certain few individuals who have chosen
me to try to help them confront and move forward from their
problems. While most do exceptionally well because they are open
to learning and applying what amounts to some pretty simple
concepts, some I have not been able to help whatsoever because,
well, they seem to derive so much more benefit from being able to
tell me (and others) about their (long list of) problems and how
much they suffer from them than they ever would from finding a
solution to, and eliminating them. I recall stating this very sad
fact in a recent article, but I’ll say it once more, these folks
really do LOVE their problems!

I see a similarly interesting phenomena with the new series of
health related products I have helped to create. A small
percentage of customers simply need to prove their theory that
change is difficult. They do this by running their Problem Movies
over and over and as a result they do not follow our program,
choosing instead to remain steadfast to their misinformed belief
only to remain a smoker, or overweight, or unhappy. Another
failed attempt and yippee! - another problem created! These
people will continue to own and grow their problems until they
eventually learn that change does not have to be difficult. Some
may never learn.

Ok, I’ll admit that I feature Problem Movies a little too often
in my own life. I catch myself writing the scripts and directing
the scenes that I would never want to become my reality. Heck,
what sane person would ever want what they’re thinking most of
the time to become their reality?

Here’s a very recent example of how I allowed the plot I created
in my mind to turn into my reality.

I had no sooner written my last line of web and promotion copy to
use for our Long Term Katrina Relief effort when I entertained
the thought - what possibly could happen ‘this time’ to sabotage
yet another noble effort by a lot of caring folks to help people.
Yes, I went so far as to project the same kinds of obstacles that
had been put into my path previously with such charity projects.
In other words, what kind of villain was I going to cast in the
movie I had just set into motion? Right, old fears rearing ugly
faces! Wasn’t a long thought but it surely was potent!

We no longer had clicked send to launch this project to hundreds
of influential and possible promotion partners and then to tens
of thousands of potential donors, when we began to experience
major server issues. Nobody could access our website! And this
challenge went on for days.

But hold on, there’s a sequel.

Once these server issues were finally fixed we discovered another
- any links to the donation site would automatically and
mysteriously “redirect” to the main business website of my
partner, and originator of this project, jl scott. Another
technical snafu. No wonder we weren’t getting any donations! I
was by then working on other things, and jl was packing up to
move north and out of the path of Hurricane Rita, so neither of
us took notice right away.

In the normal scheme of things, when a link is broken, you will
receive a polite email from someone letting you know of the
problem. What happened next, I was not prepared for, but should
have expected.

Into my Inbox came this rhetorical assault on the integrity of
our Long Term Katrina Relief project, even calling it a scam!
This subscriber of mine came loaded and gunnin’ for bear as he
attached this constitution-length document, full of untruths and
venomous assertions that he threatened to blast all over the
Internet via discussion boards and lists including the sending of
press releases if I personally didn’t “fix” this. There was
nothing to fix but a server glitch to get the website appearing
again. This misguided soul must have put a lot of effort into
making the movie that produced such an overture. I could only
imagine how much good he could have done to help our cause with
all the time and energy he spent trying to tear it down!

Needless to say, we took care of this incident quite quickly but
simply stated, I was equally responsible for the receipt of that
email as it was me who put those kinds of negative thoughts out
there, projecting a fear-based outcome and setting into motion
the very incident I just described. The Law of Attraction is
indeed a very powerful force!

I’ve always loved what Shakespeare had to say about thoughts:
“Make not your thoughts your prisons.” Have you too spent time in
your life as a willing prisoner?

Back to our problems. We all have them and always will. I’ve
often likened life to a roller coaster ride with its ups and
downs and twists and turns and moments of boredom followed by
moments of sheer terror. No matter where we are on that ride and
what problems exist in our lives, we always have the choice of
how and what we think. We are always the writer and director of
our own movies.

It goes without saying that burying your head in the sand and
ignoring a problem will never solve it. But neither will creating
and then running and rerunning a Problem Movie, fraught with
fear-based outcomes that are self-fulfilling by universal decree.
If the opening scenes of a Problem Movie start rolling on the
screen of your mind be quick to take a commercial break, change
the reel and start another. One perhaps where a solution has been
found whether you have found it or not, or, one that doesn’t star
your problem at all! Remember, you control every thought you have
and every thought you have dictates your reality!

Anyone for popcorn and a good movie? Great, because you have my
heartfelt wishes for a lifetime of Happy Endings!


© Rick Beneteau

Rick is an award-winning author, highly respected Internet
entrepreneur and co-founder of the humanitarian project
www.TenMillionClicksForPeace.org