Rick Beneteau’s Inspirational Blog

Rick wrote this in the early morning:

It doesn’t hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.

 During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or  not a patient should be  institutionalized. “Well,”
said the Director, “we fill up  a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the  patient and ask him or her to empty the  bathtub.”

 ”Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal  person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the  teacup.

 ”No.” said the Director, “A normal  person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the  window?”

:-)

Hope you’re enjoying your hollerday weekend!!

Rick

Filed under: General Ramblings, Yours 4 a Laff
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Rick wrote this in the early morning:

Thought I’d share this with the hope it makes for a Monday morning smile:-)

A woman stands before the judge accused of shoplifting.

He asks, “Mam, what did you steal?”

She replies, “A can of peaches, your honor”.

He then asks, “How many peaches were in the can”.

“Just six”. she answered.

The judge continues, “Then you will be confined to the county
jail for six days”.

Suddenly the woman’s husband stands up and blurts out, “But your honor, she
also stole a can of peas”!

:-)

Rick

Filed under: General Ramblings, Yours 4 a Laff
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Rick wrote this in the early morning:

This should be good for a chuckle.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?”

The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions of stars.”

“What that tell you?” asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, “Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of
planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the
Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What’s it tell you, Tonto?”

“You dumb as buffalo dung, white man. Someone stole the tent.”

:-)

Rick

Filed under: Yours 4 a Laff
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Rick wrote this in the early morning:

I received this from my youngest dauther Teri. Think she’s trying to boost my morale because her wedding day is less than 3 weeks away:-) Better get back to the grind!

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue “W”.

COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue “w” if you don’t start with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can
track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on “START”….

Cute, huh?

Rick

Filed under: Yours 4 a Laff
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