Self-Esteem is NOT Just for Kids - It's a Cornerstone of YOUR Success!
by Rick Beneteau

I'm positive you've done the same thing as me. Wondered about
what exactly it is that separates those who we deem to be
"successful" (and look up to), from those who are not.


Talent, ambition, vision, sacrifice, stick-to-itiveness and
resilience are all major qualities I'm sure you'd agree, but
I've simply lost count of TOO many absolutely brilliant,
creative and serious entrepreneurs who are still wallowing in
the mediocrity they sought for so long to rise above. In most
cases, it's heartbreaking.


It really got me thinking about what could possibly be the ONE
defining trait or quality of those we admire in our quest to
be successful. Here's one conclusion I came to.


I've never met an individual who I considered to be truly
successful on the personal and business level who wasn't
filled with good feelings about themselves! The kind of people
who can look in the mirror and say "I like you a lot"! More
than that, they can exclaim "I love you"!


Sound corny? If you think so, consider this question before
you click on to something else:

In business, how could you possibly feel good about what you
are doing if you didn't feel good about the person doing it?


Yes, I'm talking about the psycho-cliche of self-esteem. The
kind we hear about every day on talk shows, read about in
countless self-help and parenting books, and, gratefully see
becoming a long-overdue part of the education system in our
schools. Feeling not only good, but great about oneself is
arguably the most important success-building characteristic a
person can possess!


Think about this. Most of us were NOT raised when the concept
of self-esteem was a part of our "fibre", as it is now. Some
of us may have been fortunate to have come from families that
fortified the fact that "I am good", "I am special" and "I
like and love ME!" However, most of us were nutured without
learning, and having instilled deep within us, the belief that
"I deserve all the good things in the world I desire". That
built-in sense of confidence allows us to grow (and keep
growing) in order to be able to have ALL the blessings that
life is just waiting to bestow upon us. In other words,
SUCCESS!


I thoroughly enjoyed studying world religions in my last year
of high school, when it became very clear to me that every
"faith" has the concept of self-esteem as a cornerstone of
it's beliefs. The Bible has as one of it's injunctions:
"Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself".


But doesn't this beg the question, "How could you Love Your
Neighbor, or anything else for that matter, if You CAN'T Love
Yourself?" An unfortunate reality that translates into
business ie: "If you are not able to love and respect
yourself, then how can you expect others to even just respect
(and trust) you?" And isn't respect and trust a cornerstone of
successful businesses and entrepreneurs?


I've gone so far as to state the following in the new (print)
book I am writing:
"Selfishness is putting the needs of others ahead of your
needs. Since when can you give your best to others when you
own needs go unattended?"


Something else. The ONLY successful joint ventures I have ever
experienced have been with entrepreneurs that were "full of
self-confidence", possessing a very high level of self-esteem.
Conversely, any time I partnered with someone who was either
"full of themselves" (usually a by-product of low self-esteem)
or simply had precious little self-esteem in their tank, the
bottom fell out!


And that's what I've always likened self-esteem to -
the gasoline tank on a car. Everyone has a self-esteem tank
and it's either full or empty or somewhere in between. But you
know what? It's perfectly ok to get low on fuel. We all do at
times, but truly successful people know how to "fill 'er up"
again, and pretty quickly. All I know is that during those
periods of time in my life when it appeared I was stonewalled
or even going backwards, my self-esteem was suffering!


Today, I enjoy amazing friendships and partnerships with many
successful people. To a person, each is brimming with self-
confidence and a deep seated belief in themselves and what
they are doing. They are fun to deal with too! The kind of
individuals when setbacks, even those of the worst kind where
self-esteem can take a real blow, are not only overcome, but
used as "fuel" to pole vault them ahead on their path to even
greater success.


And you know what else? Among the most outstanding of these
people work tirelessly on projects that have nothing to do
with making money for themselves but rather helping people in
need! That's right, community service projects. Self-esteem
AND selflessness in the success formula? You bet!


Here's a paragraph, again from my (pending) new book, about
how I believe we move forward in life towards success, with
self-esteem in tow:

"It takes many inches to make a mile. We can only move by
inches, one inch at a time. It's when we look miles ahead and
wonder "how are we going to get so far?" that we fail to move
forward at all. The paradox is that we can choose to live life
"in the rear view mirror" and remain so far back that moving
forward, even an inch, is most difficult. Most important,
we must always keep in mind that anytime we suffer a setback
while moving forward, it will always be just a matter of
inches, and not miles."


I want to close this article with a challenge for you. I dare
you to stand in front of the mirror right now, and every day
from this moment forward, and say to yourself, "I like you,
and I love you"!


The moment you truly begin believing it is the moment that the
success you crave will start coming your way!!


© 2001 Rick Beneteau

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